Dear Friends,
 
Today I share an extremely personal message.
 
This past week, I suffered a massive heart attack. I am now home recovering and doing well.
 
We probably all know someone who has had a heart attack. I know quite a few. Unfortunately, most of the people I knew did not survive. I had to have two stents put in my aorta, needed a heart pump (balloon) machine, and was under close watch for a number of days in the ICU. That’s what happened to me physically.
 
When people face death, they naturally tend to look toward God. My wife, Debra, was immediately on her phone asking our friends and family for much-needed prayer. Others may ask “why” or even try to make a “deal” with God that they will do such and such if He saves their life.
 
I have faced very dangerous situations in my life, traveling in war zones and on the front lines of missions. It can, at times, be very scary. But this is the closest I have come to knowing there was a reasonable chance that I was about to enter eternity.
 
My prayer was simply, “God, I am in your hands. If you want me to come home, I am ready. If you have more time, and work, for me here on Earth, I am ready.” I thought of the words of the Apostle Paul when he was imprisoned and wrote, “For me, to live is Christ. To die is gain.” I felt those words come alive, and while my heart struggled to pump, my body lay in excruciating pain, my spirit was at peace.
 
The next few days were filled with nurses and doctors, tests and needles. I think it was the third day before Deb and I had some quality time together. She climbed beside me in the ICU bed, careful not to pull anything loose, and began to cry. “I love you so much. God brought you to me, and I don’t want to lose you,” she said through the tears. 

While I was still in the ICU, I was out of the woods and had survived the worst of it. I reassured her that God graciously decided to leave me here. I also told her how much I loved her and that God had brought us together for a special purpose, to demonstrate His love, and to serve in His Kingdom. I held her tight and found myself wiping away my own tears.
 
After a few days, I was also able to walk around the ICU. There is a center station for the nurses, some monitors, and there are rooms along the perimeter. At first, a nurse would hold my arm as I did my laps around the ICU. In each room was another person struggling with life. Some were much older, some not conscious. While I walked, I had a flashback of my time with Pastor Richard Wurmbrand.
 
While traveling with Pastor Wurmbrand, who was always adorned in his white clerical collar, I used to hold his arm the same way the nurse was now holding mine. And whenever I walked with Richard and there were other people around, he always wanted me to take him over to speak with them. He would shake their hand, smile as big as he could, and ask why God had made them so beautiful. He never had a debate, never offended, and never went without the opportunity to tell them how much Jesus loved them and desired to know them better.
 
I told the nurse that I wish I could attach a clerical collar around my neck, above my not-so-fashionable hospital gown, and just visit other people in the rooms. I felt a sadness in my heart as I missed Pastor Wurmbrand so much. But I also felt it strange that barely recovering from my own brush with death, my heart hurt for the souls of others.
 
I was visited by two members of the clergy, and while they were extremely nice and professional, neither asked me a single question about my faith or mentioned God or Jesus or offered a prayer. I contrasted that to how Pastor Wurmbrand acted and was truly saddened. I know my visitors were following protocol and just wanting to open a door to dialogue, but I was saddened nonetheless.
 
Over the course of five days in the ICU, I had met many nurses, and each knew that I was a Christian and learned about The Pilgrim’s Progress being honored in Hollywood. In fact, there was a debate in the ICU as to whether Debra should go to Los Angeles without me and represent us. Hospital staff were coming in my room just to ask me about our work. The PR representative who visited asked me more about The Pilgrim’s Progress than about my care in the hospital! She had read the book in college and now wanted to reconnect with the story.

People are hungry for Jesus, and it’s okay to share our faith! I guess in my hospital gown, in the ICU, hooked up to tubes, wires, and monitors, I offered no offense. Maybe as Christians we just have to focus on being real and authentic. Nothing was more authentic than the realities of my past week. Maybe people just want to know about our love and journey with Christ rather than our doctrine, debates, and political views. If our own faith isn’t contagious, maybe it needs to be reevaluated.
 
I began to realize the divide between socially acceptable Christianity and true faith. Does “to live is Christ” mean that we can simply say we are Christians? Or does it mean we love Christ and serve in His Kingdom? Paul went on to write in the same letter to the Philippians, “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ ...” and in doing so, Paul defined what it meant to “live” as a Christian and follower of Christ.

God has given me a dream and a vision, and He protected me from succumbing to a massive heart failure. The vision is to produce an interactive, animated Bible free to the world. We are to include the entire Biblical narrative from Genesis to Revelation and to allow it to be translated into any of today’s 7,000+ living languages without restriction. We call it the iBIBLE, and it’s a big vision. So, God has also surrounded me with an amazingly supportive wife, dedicated team members, partners, and my extended family like you. Alone we can accomplish little. But together we can storm the gates of hell with the love of Christ and the Truth of His Word.
 
The more I live, the more I face my own mortality, the more I realize what really matters. In this world we will have trouble, but my King has overcome this world. Thank you so much for taking this journey with me.
 
Steve Cleary
RevelationMedia
CEO/Founder